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Let Them Eat Cake
Well, I’ve had a very productive weekend and it’s time to kick back and celebrate. The family is coming over today to have some birthday cake in honor of my first born daughter. She’s 23 tomorrow and that’s the age I was when my current life truly began. I was 23 when I first met my wife at the wedding of some mutual friends. Maybe this will be a portentous year for my li’l Lemby. We’ll see, I suppose.
Another thing taking place tomorrow is something of a periodic ritual that I wasn’t aware of. Apparently, from the age of 45 onward it is recommended that men get a screening for diabetes. I don’t think I have that, but hopefully, it’s because I don’t. I’m curious to see how that test plays out. Maybe I should skip the cake?
What I really need, though, is to hie me to a podiatrist. Oy! My feet are STILL killing me. I can’t seem to catch a break where it comes to these feet of mine. If I walk around a lot, they hurt. If I stay off them, they hurt. If I sit up, they hurt. If I lie down, they hurt. The podiatrists have their work cut out for them.
February Festive
In addition to my beloved first born’s birthday, we’ve got some other lovely holidays in February. We’ve got the Groundhog who has kindly given us an extended winter. We’ve got Valentine’s Day, which is apparently going to be tempered by the results of my diabetes test tomorrow. We’ve got President’s Day which is specifically George Washington’s Birthday but is a celebration of US Presidents in general.
There’s Mardi Gras which in my neck of the woods is Fastnacht Day. People are determined to have these special Dutchy donuts to ensure good luck and I’m one of them. Diabetes or no diabetes, I’m having a Fastnacht!!! As to Mardi Gras, I’ll have to scare up some beads and see if they have the 😉 intended effect 😉 on my lovely wife.
Also in February, we’ve got Lunar New Year also known as Chinese New Year. This holiday is one of the few opportunities to enjoy Chinese food for dinner in our house. For whatever reason, my wife doesn’t much care for Chinese food so it’s just not on the menu that often. As such, Chinese New Year is a rare treat for those of us in the house who absolutely adore it.
Some More Rules
Rule #216: Never gamble with a telepath
There are a number of races in the Star Trek universe with full telepathic powers and it stands to reason that you wouldn’t want to play poker with them. Try bluffing a telepath. Obviously, it won’t turn out favorably.
For those of us in the real world, this is a reminder not to take for granted that you have all the information needed to make a quality decision. Gambling with a telepath is certainly equivalent with taking new acquaintances at face value. Plenty of people play a long game. They have the answers before they ever ask you the question. They can be very engaging, but they’re leading you around by the nose. They probe and prod to see if they can get you to dance to their tune. If you show immunity to their tricks, they’ll usually disqualify you and move on. If you’re a willing idiot, you’re going to be led to whatever ends they have in mind. Be careful and maintain your independence. Work your own plans and let others be pawns for players.
Rule #217: You can’t free a fish from water
One of the big hangups that marketers have is that they want to sell to everyone. They want everyone to be their customer. That’s laudable, but not practical. Not everybody wants your exercise program. Not everybody wants to even exercise. Not everybody wants your coffee. Not everybody wants your hamburgers.
You can’t please all the people all the time. Don’t try to free a fish from water. Don’t try to sell steak to vegans. Don’t try to make people buy your stuff. Figure out who actually wants your stuff and what it is that turns them on. Use that information to make an irresistible offer to the person who wants what you’ve got. There’s a lid for every pot, as they say. Don’t put your lid on the toaster, it’s supposed to go on a pot. Only sell to the pot.
Rule #218: Always know what you’re buying
Buyer beware! One of the things about copywriting is that there are people out there who can use hypnotic language to make something look like it’s what you want when it’s absolutely nothing of the kind. Take, for example, the classic ad for Sea Monkeys. Misnamed. Mislabeled. Misrepresented. Any kid who saw the full page ad for Sea Monkeys in their comic books was salivating at the notion of having a family of tiny little people living in a fishbowl. How cool would that be?!? Well, the “sea monkeys” were actually brine shrimp. They didn’t look like tiny people at all. They look like creepy little bugs.
The same holds true for a lot of things that are for sale in the MMO (make money online) arena. This WordPress plugin does this! That software does that! Their SAAS membership does everything but brush your teeth for you! Not so much. The bigger the promise, the less you usually get. Find people who use more facts and screenshots in their sales pages. Big splashy graphics and bigger splashier copy usually just leaves you feeling all wet.
Rule #218: Sometimes what you get free cost entirely too much²
Another citation of Rule 218 from a comic book. I would have skipped it as being non-canonical, but the point is well made on a variety of fronts.
There are a number of things in the MMO world that are “free” but wind up costing way too much. Free advice from people who don’t even practice it is the worst. Also, free trials that turn into paid subscriptions after a week are awful. If I want to subscribe to something, I’ll subscribe. If I want a freebie, I’ll grab a freebie. I hate having to go back on the last day of the free trial and cancel the subscription before the cost kicks in. It’s a trap, in most cases. Getting buyer’s remorse on a free thing genuinely sucks.
The best way to avoid this is to stop buying and start selling. When you’re busy producing, you won’t be tempted by every pet rock and sea monkey that shows up in your inbox.
Rule #219: Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!
Only a Ferengi can be so greedy and grasping as to make eleven parts of a ten-part item. LOL! They do have a point, though. Finders keepers, losers weepers. When you’ve got possession of something, it’s really hard to remove it. One of the drawbacks of selling virtual goods is that even if you refund the purchase, they generally still have possession of the product. In sales of physical goods, you take the item back to the store and they give you your money in exchange. With virtual products, there’s no way to validate that they’ve deleted your goods. Some people implement registration codes that can be invalidated upon refund, but that’s a lot of hassle for an ebook or recorded training course. The main way to cut your losses is to block serial refunders. Chances are, they can just get your product on the black hat sites anyhow. That’s life on the internet, folks.
Rule #220: Not yet cited in Star Trek episodes, movies or novels
Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter. ~Satchel Paige
As I mentioned above, my firstborn turns 23 tomorrow. Hopefully, she’s not feeling old just yet. She’s got a lot of potential and I’m very proud to be her dad. I think she’s planning to get a tattoo on her upper arm. That’s something I could never do. I can’t think of a single thing I’d ever want stamped on my body that I wouldn’t be bored to tears with about 5 minutes after it was on. Well, that’s what makes her happy so, happy birthday.
As for me, being old enough to have a kid who’s as old as I was when I met my wife is a bit weird. I’m nowhere near old enough to have grown-up kids. What the heck is that even about? That’s not even half as weird as being overdue for a variety of tests designed to demonstrate my impending physical decrepitness. Forget the diabetes and shoving that camera up my wazoo, just fix my feet already…
Well, this has been a bit rambling, but at least my project is on a straight course. I’ve got over a hundred articles lined up that need to be converted to video for posting on my channel in order to drive traffic to my site. Progress is progressing and the channel is already getting views and subscribers. Just gotta stay on target and git ‘er done!